Things I Never Want To Forget

The mind is an amazing thing.  God has created us with the amazing ability to think, learn, remember and imagine, all in vivid detail and in full technecolor.  I was reminded how precious this gift is the other day when I visited one of our long-time members in the nursing home.  Gary is suffering from an inoperable brain tumor and the combination of the tumor placing pressure on his brain and the effects of radiation therapy have had a profound impact on his ability to think, speak, and remember.  My short visit with him has stuck with me for the last week; seeing the frustration on his face when he couldn't gather his thoughts enough to express what was on his heart, hearing the confusion in his voice as he tried to remember how long he had been going through treatments, and seeing the tears in his eyes as he apologized for being weak and emotional.  I began to think about all that I would lose if I could no longer remember the things that God has done in my life.  There are so many memories that I treasure, a joyous childhood marked by love, acceptance, and the godly example of my parents, a unique adolescent and high school experience that set me apart from my peers.  I had the opportunity to go to BBC at the zenith of its fruitfulness and experience the excitement and challenge of college life.  I would hate to lose the memory of the first night that I laid eyes on Shelley, and the near-stalkeresque pursuit of her that followed.  I treasure my memories of my days on the back side of the desert in Spokane, WA and the magical moments and hard lessons that I experienced there.  I can't imagine losing my grip on every little detail of the night I asked Shelley to marry me or the vision that she was as she walked down the aisle to become my bride.  I couldn't bear to lose my sense of wonder at the birth of my children and at each stage of their development.  I would hate to forget what my heart felt like the first time I stepped into the pulpit as the pastor, the rush of excitement and the utter terror at the awesome responsibility that God had laid on my shoulders.  How could I ever lose sight of the hundreds of couples that I have counseled with and then presided over their weddings?  How could I forget the blessed peace that God has given, even in the darkest hours, when I held beloved church members in my arms and sought to bring them comfort in the hour of tragedy and loss.  It would be a tragedy to lose sight of the hundreds of people over the years that I have been given the privilege of leading to Christ, and the look of relief and gratitude to God that radiated from their faces.  Victories and defeats, championships and near-misses, joys and trials, every one of these memories is precious to me.  As I have struggled this week to process the emotions that I felt after my visit with Gary, I have come to this conclusion.  First, I need to be thankful every day for the blessings that God has given me. Second, I need to tell the people that I love that I love them at every opportunity and the ones that are not so lovely, I need to make things right with before it's too late.  And finally, I need to write these things down so that when my memory begins to fade, I can look back with thanksgiving on what God has done.  I do not doubt that the day will come when I find myself in a similar situation to Gary's, whether it be because of illness or longevity.  So while I still can, I plan to hold fast to the memories that I treasure and be thankful to God every day.